


I'll cry for you

by xCloudy_1412



Category: Magic Kaito, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
Genre: Alternate Universe, Hurt/Angst & Comfort, Kaito Kid doesn't exist, Kaito cries a lot, M/M, Minor Character Death, Pining, Shinichi didn't get shrunk, Shinichi doesn't cry, Shinichi's a death magnet, We need more Kai&Ran, angst with happy ending, except for that one time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-07-03 08:30:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15815232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xCloudy_1412/pseuds/xCloudy_1412
Summary: 'You have someone to cry for you, right?'The sheer amount of times that sentence was said dulled the stabbing pain felt whenever Kaito heard it. He knows the answer to it and he wasn't so keen on saying it.In which Kaito is your resident funeral contractor paid to cry and Shinichi is his curious client.





	I'll cry for you

**Author's Note:**

> Hi~! This is my very first fanfic, I hope you enjoy! I might have made the characters a little OOC (I might have turned Shinichi into a Bi disaster and made Kaito a dramatic mess) so please forgive me >.<

♠︎

 

The first time Shinichi saw him was at a politician's funeral. 

He, along with Ran and Kogoro were invited as guests to the said politician's, _Tsuda Masato's_ party for helping solve the murder of his colleague. The said murder was brutal, Ran had screamed like a child when they stumbled upon the rotting body. Shinichi had sprung into investigating seconds before Kogoro shouted for nobody to come near the body, Ran called the police and Shinichi solved the case.

Same old, same old.

To thank the three, Masato had invited them to his party (something about celebrating Masato's 4th year as a politician, he didn't bother to know) and they were halfway through dessert when Masato face planted onto the glass Lazy Susan table and Shinichi let out a sigh for what seemed to be the umpteenth time within the last couple days. He needed a coffee, and probably a trip to a therapist after all this. 

Turns out, the murderer ended up being Masato's long time best friend who had a grudge against him for ruining his chances at being a politician using connects in the politics world. Masato's wife had thanked him profusely and asked if he could kindly offer a speech to her (now) late husband, and now here he was. Dressed in an all black attire, a crisp suit adorned with a single white orchid pinned just a little ways from his heart.

"Mr. Tsuda was a kind man, even during the short time I knew him. He was generous and smart—"

A loud cry momentarily caused the DI to pause and suck back a sharp inhale of surprise. The entire venue was quiet, except for the lone man who was on his knees, wailing like there was no tomorrow.

"He helped everyone in every way he could. He had a bright future ahead and it's a shame that he left us."

Another cry, accompanied by loud sniffles. 

It irked Shinichi a tad bit but who could blame someone from being devastated about the death of a loved one? Except, said wailing man was not related to Masato's family as far as his quick time deductions told him. 

"I do hope that he's in a better place and watching over the Tsuda family, now and for many more years to come."

With a polite bow, he stepped down from the podium and reclaimed his spot beside a teary Ran. The funeral proceeded without much fanfare and Shinichi's gaze remained locked on the wailing, bordering _hysterically_ wailing man. From his seat the man had his back turned against him, brown locks standing up in jagged spikes, lithe and slender shoulders quivering with every sob that racked his body. He was propped in a kneeling position, right in front of the silver coffin. Was he a distant relative? A secret bastard child? Maybe even a lover? 

Shinichi needn't wonder about more when the funeral ended and Mrs. Tsuda approached the male, placed a pale hand against his shoulder and slipped a wad of cash into his suit's outer pocket and almost instantly, the man stopped crying, got up onto his feet and sniffled back the faintest of snot building up in his nose.

"Eh? Isn't that Kuroba?" Ran murmured out, violet eyes finding their way to the now composed man. 

"You know him?" Shinichi asked in an equally hushed tone, would be bad if someone mistook their chat as gossip. 

"He's Aoko's friend, you know the sweet brunette I take law class with? She's talked about him quite a lot and all the descriptions fit him." Ran mused out, gaze raking up and down the man—Kuroba's appearance. "Was he a friend of Mr. Tsuda?" Shinichi pressed on, snuffing out the small annoyance towards himself for being this interested in a guy. 

"No, I don't think so." Ran answered with a shrug, causing the detective to raise an eyebrow. 

"He's a funeral contractor." 

Oh.

♠︎

The second time he saw Kuroba was at a funeral, again. 

This time, it wasn't a murder. Ran's distant cousin had passed away from a tragic car crash and Ran being the softy she was wanted to pay respects, dragging Shinichi with him on a chilly Sunday morning. 

The funeral was simple, a small bouquet of white balloon flowers adorned the top of the coffin, a few chairs lined up in front. Apparently, today was the last day before the body would be cremated. Sad as it was, Shinichi was used to these types of things. A short cry broke his line of thoughts as azure eyes made their way to the owner of the voice. Kuroba, Shinichi dully observed was in a simple tee and jeans that definitely did _not_ cling in the right spots and loosen in the most convenient way. Nope, he wasn't checking him out. He didn't know him, he only knew his last name and occupation. _'Why not find out more?'_ A voice nagged in the back of his head, childish and overly condescending. 

Despite his attempts not to, Shinichi found his legs carrying him over to where Kuroba knelt at. Clearing his throat and holding out a handkerchief for Kuroba to use. 

"I thought you might need it." Great way to start a conversation Shinichi, amazing. Kuroba looked up and Shinichi was greeted by the most confusing ( _beautiful_ ) eye color. Blue. Purple. Blue. Purple. _Indigo_. (same face as him but he swore he didn't look like a supermodel, no one had features that defined but so soft) He wasn't sure and yet he was captivated, the corner of his eyes were raw and red, puffy and itchy. Evident abuse and too much crying was more than obvious to Shinichi's keen gaze.

"I appreciate it but I come prepared, sir." Honey, he was listening to the vocal embodiment of honey. Kuroba spoke in a smooth tone, as if he wasn't crying his heart out just a few seconds again. Fishing out a pristine white handkerchief with the initials _K. T._ embroidered on the corner of it. With a short shrug, he tucked his handkerchief back into his breast pocket. "You were crying quite a lot, I thought you were a relative of her's." Shinichi followed up, mentally cringing at his awkward words. 

"Oh no, you misunderstand sir—."

"Kudo, Kudo Shinichi."

"Uhm, Mr. Kudo—."

"Just Kudo."

"K-Kudo, you misunderstand. I was _payed_ to do this, I'm a funeral contractor. I cry for those who do not have anyone to mourn for them. Or at least, those who have relatives who would rather pay than cry for someone." Kuroba explained, handing him a small business card. 

_'Phantom Tears, Funeral Contractors_  
48th Avenue, Kuro Street.  
1412-XXXX-XXXX  
Kuroba Kaito.' 

Kuroba Kaito. 

Shinichi repeated the name mentally and he found that he quite liked how the name 'Kaito' sounded. "Nice to meet you then, Kuroba." He answered with a small smile, extending his hand for a handshake which the other party took.

Deft hands, rough callouses, slender and long fingers, a _Magician's_ hand.

"A magician, I presume?" Something in Kaito's eyes flickered and god damn himself, Shinichi noticed. Kaito's face shuttered into a blank mask, save for the unreadable smile that was plastered onto his face. "Ex-magician, actually. I—, I gave up on that a long time ago." He answered, letting go of Shinichi's hand and he caught himself missing the warmth and touch. 

"Is that so." Was all Shinichi could reply as he fumbled with the belt loop of his jeans. 

"Yeah! Kuroba Kaito, crier extraordinaire, at your service. I can cry on cue for a price~." 

Poof!

Kaito held a white rose between his fingers, holding it out for Shinichi to take. Which he did and as soon as he did, Kaito was already waking towards the exit, waving him a lazy two finger salute as he disappeared behind the door.

Twirling the rose between his fingers (thornless, freshly cut, well watered, personally cared for and not store bought), Shinichi let out a small huff as he went to join Ran who was conversing with her aunt.

Ex-Magician? Yeah, right. 

♠︎

The third time he saw Kuroba Kaito wasn't at a funeral.

It had been two weeks since his last encounter with the 'ex'-magician, Shinichi kept his rose by his nightstand and by God, it wasn't showing any signs of wilting yet. How the rose managed to stay so healthy when Shinichi admittedly sometimes forgot to water the flower was unknown. He had all but forgotten about his encounter, he caught himself numerous times thinking about certain not blue, not purple eyes and it frustrated him because he barely knew the man! It was outrageous of him to show this much interest in a funeral contractor, a _male_ funeral contractor. Last time he checked, he wanted to marry Ran and have 2 kids with her, thank you very much. 

And yet, here he was. Silently wishing whenever a dead body flops in front of him, that he'd find Kaito, crying his crocodile tears. But to no luck, all he's been working on are cold cases that the victims' relatives all given up on. 

Shinichi let out a short sigh, walking down the sidewalk having just finished his work at Division One. He was on his way to fetch Ran from Uni but stopped when he spotted familiar spikes through a window of a coffee shop. Without much hesitation save for the small apology to a certain karate champion Shinichi walked in with a chime of a bell and he was greeted by a warm and friendly 'Welcome~!'.

Making his way over to the counter, Shinichi allowed himself to indulge the slight surprise that flittered on Kaito's face as he took in Shinichi's form. Kaito was wearing a different ensemble today, underneath the dark green apron was a button up _pressed_ white shirt and dress pants (formal, must have been the place's dress code) and no, Shinichi did not linger at the top two undone buttons showing Kaito's creamy collarbone. For one insane millisecond, the detective entertained the thought of licking it but mentally throttled himself with the reminder that he was irrevocably in love with Ran, not with a stranger he barely knew anything about. Except for the facts that he did know, namely Kaito's eyes were less red and puffy and more big and doe-y since the last time they talked to each other. 

"What can I get you, sir." Kaito chirped out, after a moment of silence. "A tall espresso please, no sugar, no cream." Shinichi ordered, almost automatically. Enjoying once again the look of surprise (and horror) that settled on Kaito's face. "E-Espresso, no cream and sugar!" He called out to his colleague who was equally as mystified at his order. Was black coffee that horrible? 

"Hey." Kaito started with a sheepish smile, handing over Shinichi's change, receipt and number. "My shift's about to end, I was wondering if you could. . ." _'Take you on a date, sure.'_ "Wait a while? I'd like to talk to you and stuff." The magician shied away at the end, fingering his sleeve and fidgeting. "Sure, why not. I'll be over there." Shinichi nodded his head, walking over to a small coffee table by the corner of the shop. Where he promptly face desked when Kaito wasn't looking.

He wanted a stranger to go on a date with him.

He wanted a _male_ stranger to go on a date with him.

He hasn't even entertained the thought of taking _Ran_ on a date and the last one was years ago in Tropical Land. 

Ran was the love of his life, Kaito was just a friend (acquaintance).

This was so wrong on so many levels gosh darn.

"Thanks for waiting~." The magician called out, holding Shinichi's order. "Oh, thank you." Shinichi said with a polite smile, watching as Kaito slid onto the seat in front of him. "So how've you been? Not with your girlfriend today?" Kaito started and it took a few moments to understand what he said before Shinichi burnt himself downing all of his coffee in one go. 

Hacking up a bit of liquid that went down the wrong track, Kaito had moved from his seat to beside him rubbing soothing circles on his back. His hands were soft and warm, Shinichi wanted to keep them on his body. "Me and Ran aren't like that!" He managed to stutter out, shaking his head as if the mere thought of dating the karate champion was impossible. "We've known each other since we were kids." He followed up, taking in a few deep breaths after his coughing fit stopped. Which he almost regretted as Kaito went back to sitting in front of him. "Oh, I see." He answered with a smile, beaming at him for no reason whatsoever. He looked rather relieved, almost. If you squint, like really squint like what Shinichi's been doing for the pass encounters with Kaito. 

"So, Kudo. Tell me about yourself?" Kaito asked with an attempt to strike a conversation.

"I'm 21, an Assistant Detective for Division One, have been for the last two years. I'm currently taking Criminology at Tokyo University, the professor was kind enough to let me have free reign over my schedule, but between case solving and studying, I don't really have anything else to do." Did he just indirectly say that he was free for most of the time? 

"Tokyo? My friend, Aoko goes there! I think she might have mentioned a Ran and a Shinichi before. What a small world." Kaito let out a small laugh, sounding like chimes and bells. ' _Wedding bells'_ There it was again, that goddamn childish voice, mocking him.

"My turn to talk~ as you know I'm a funeral contractor. You pay, set a date and time, I'll be there to cry and mourn for your lovingly deceased and I'll run through the funeral, set up cremation or burial, you know the drill. I'm 20, turning 21 in June. I work part-time here Monday's to Sunday's, 8 to 5. The owner here is really kind and covers for me whenever duty calls at Phantom Tears." Great, he can see Kaito everyday on his way to Tokyo Uni. Great, just absolutely great. (Also a quick note to prepare something for Kaito's birthday next month).

They fell into a rhythm, Shinichi talks, Kaito listens. Kaito talks, Shinichi listens. Shinichi talked about how murders seem to follow him while Kaito talked about how lucky he was, they both discovered that they have overly spunky brunette childhood friends who look too much like one another, just like how they looked like each other. Kaito was the best crier in Phantom Tears, Shinichi was the savior of the police force. 

"Why did you take the job?" Shinichi asked, wincing at his own words. He was curious, it was second nature for detectives to ask and know about something that piques their curiosity but he almost wished he hadn't. 

"I honestly don't know." Kaito answered in a small nonchalant voice, indigo eyes loosing focus in a haze. "My job involves being paid to mourn for others, the sheer implication that people would _pay_ for others to cry for the dead rather than do it themselves is rather cruel. I pity the dead, those who don't have anyone to truly mourn for them so I take the job. I want to calm the spirits, I want them to know that I'm carrying the pain of their humanly lost, that I will remember them and never forget them." With a short exhale, Kaito drummed his fingers against the table top, Shinichi was stunned into silence. He wasn't expecting a deep answer, he wasn't expecting a philosophical answer and yet here he was gaping like a fish, opening and closing his mouth trying to create a logical response. He was saved though, by a customer literally face planting onto their pay-it-forward coffee. 

Shinichi was quick to move, he didn't notice Kaito following behind him. 

Cyanide, rimming the straw. The kitchen didn't have any traces of it meaning the killer smeared the poison on their way to the customer, meaning it could only be one of the waiters. There were 4 waiters and waitresses in total, and Shinichi had deduced that the quiet push over was the murderer due to the faint softness her hands had hinting that she had washed them a little bit earlier (with lavender soap, as if to cover up the powdery poison). She confessed quickly, about how envious she was that the victim was so free and unrestrained. The victim, Nakajima Naomi was apparently a homeless woman who used to be the daughter of a wealthy family, went bankrupt and her mother controlled her future throughout childhood and so she ran away and lived at a playground and yet smiled like everyday was the best day of her life. She was a regular at the shop and apparently always conversed with the waitress. Inspector Megure had come thirty minutes later, taking statements and arresting the waitress.

"We contacted Nakajima's family but they refused to take her body." Inspector Megure sighed out, rubbing a crease line on his forehead. Poor Nakajima, maybe Shinichi can erect a small grave near the playground she previously lived at. It's the least the detective could do, maybe he could buy an orchid or two.

"U-Um, Inspector. Is that one of her relatives?" Takagi asked in a somewhat shrill whisper, pointing a gloved fingers towards a certain messy haired male who gingerly approached the unmoving body laid down on a stretcher on the floor, ready to be taken to the morgue. "Rest in peace, I'll miss you." Was what Shinichi heard as he approached Kaito, watching as the man (as if on cue) start to cry, producing a single orchid out of nowhere and letting it lay on the lady's bosom.

Kuroba Kaito, Shinichi decided, was devastatingly beautiful when he cried. 

♠︎

The fourth, fifth, sixth and many more times Shinichi lost count of meeting Kuroba Kaito were spent through tranquil days that followed a pattern. Shinichi finishes up his work with Division One then goes to Kaito's coffee shop, sits at his usual spot (corner of the room, small round coffee table, two seats) and Kaito would sit with him and they'd just talk. About hobbies, about work, about life. 

Today was no different, Shinichi took tiny sips of his coffee as Kaito described to him his day. He had a job earlier apparently, it was the death of an orphaned child (lung cancer). No one knew his parents or relatives, the owner of the orphanage asked Kaito to visit the kid's grave site for him since he himself couldn't go there. 

"Do you get jobs often?" Shinichi mindlessly asked, sipping his lukewarm coffee. 

"I don't mean to brag and all but yes! Hayden, my boss says that I'm the number one pick amongst us funeral contractors." A half-grin, half-smirk that Shinichi had far since deduced was Kaito's trademark.

"Is that so? I wonder why...." The detective trailed off, hiding the smallest of smiles behind the styrofoam rim of his cup.

"Come on, don't lie! You've seen me cry first hand, I'm great at it." A pout, cute too pink lips, plump and _kissable_ —

"Really? I actually prefer you when you smile." Now it was Shinichi's turn to smirk as Kaito's complexion flushed pink all the way to his ears. Kaito fidgeted for a few moments before shooting Shinichi a smile and no, he did not feel his stomach wring in the most pleasant yet dreadful way possible. Kaito smiled and continued to do so for a long time. 

He had forgotten that Ran had invited him to dinner that day. 

♠︎

The next time he sees Kaito cry was because of Shinichi, himself. 

It was sudden even though he should have known that something was up when his mother didn't call him at the end of the month. Now here he was, standing at his manor's doorway taking in the sight in front of him. 

His mother stood before him, hair a mess, gone were the perfect curls she spends hours perfecting. Her mascara was runny, her eyes were red and puffy (' _kinda like Kaito's'_ his brain supplied but now was not the time for hopeless pining), she carried a small duffel bag. It was evident that she had hastily packed, and judging by her clothes (sweat pants, formal floral shirt, a mix of style, obviously picked in hurried random).

"Shinichi..." The former actress breathed out and gods Shinichi felt a shiver run down his spine and it's not like the pleasant type he felt whenever he heard Kaito laugh. As far as Shinichi could remember (and he had a pretty great eidetic memory) his mother never, _never_ called him by his full first name and that just rang the biggest alarm in his mind. 

"Your father...." Yukiko started against sharp intakes, as if she was going into shock or hysteria or maybe both. Shinichi's hands automatically found themselves on her shoulders, leading her inside the manor and to the lounge. His stomach felt like an endless abyss, he was smart. He knew what the situation implied, he just hoped that it was a prank or a wake up call his parents planned. Seating Yukiko on the couch, Shinichi sat beside her and rubbed small circles on her back waiting for her to calm down, with little to no effect.

Yukiko trudged on and choked out the next words, "Your father is dead." 

Shrill cries and sobs followed after the words and honestly, Shinichi was numb. His father, the one he looked up to, the writer and detective he respected just a little less than Sherlock Holmes, the man who looked out for him, who introduced him to all his second family at Division One was dead. 

The next days went by in a blur, his mother had explained that they were in Paris when the incident happened, spending the evening at a simple cafe just ways from the Eiffel Tower when a shot resounded through the night. Yusaku had jumped into action, herding the panicked French men and women away from the place. Yukiko helped him, it had gone well until the terrorist took a girl hostage and Yusaku literally offered to exchange places with the girl, plotting to disarm the man along the way but the plan backfired. It turns out that there was more than one gunman and Yusaku was shot down with a light rifle, along with the hostage. The hostage survived, having sustained only one bullet to the _appendix_ while Yusaku had _holes_ ripped through his body, as if taking most of the shots for the girl. 

_'You're wishing that your father wasn't as valiant as you, right?'_ The words echoed through Shinichi's head, throughout Yukiko's crying, throughout the entire time Yusaku's body was transported to a funeral site, throughout all the condolences. 

Ran had stuck by his side, but even she had the same look of pity in her eyes like the rest of the people who payed their respect. She had tried to comfort him but Shinichi was muted, reality hasn't quite sunken into his bone yet. He was waiting for both his parents to surprise him and tell him that it was a joke. But his father's colorless face, laying unmoving and stiff in a coffin adorned with lilies and orchids. He knew, it wasn't a joke. But it sure felt like one when his mother left overnight to fly halfway across the world leaving him with a tiny note saying ' _I'm sorry, Shin but Mama needs some time to think for herself. Remember she loves you but right now, she needs some space.'_

Now here he was, sitting at the front row seat parallel to his father's ephemeral corpse. He had taken the day off, away from cases, away from people. He spent the entire day camped out in front of the polished coffin. The place was empty, everyone had finished paying their half empty respects. Even Ran had stopped comforting him, after the first few days where she stuck like glue to him, she eventually left to tend to her studies and assignments. 

"Hey." A soft voice echoed from behind him and he found himself face to face with Kuroba Kaito, dressed in all black with a handkerchief in one hand as if he was ready to cry.

"Did my mother send you here?" Sharp and biting, his voice was hoarse and rough from lack of use and water. His mind was a mess, his thoughts were scrambled. All he could think of was _'Did mom pay Kaito of all people to cry for dad? I don't need more pity, especially not from Kaito.'_

"W-What? No, gods Kudo. When was the last time you slept?" Kaito's hand on his shoulder was warm and reassuring, Shinichi almost wanted to lean into it. 

"I heard what happened.... For what it's worth, I'm sorry for your loss. I understand what you're going through—" 

**_Slap!_ **

Kaito had a surprised expression as he cradled his hand that was previously on Shinichi's shoulder. Azure eyes glared holes through him, livid with anger.

"I don't need your pity! You can't possibly understand what I'm going through when all you do is cry your crocodile tears in exchange for money. How could you **know** what I'm going through?! How could you understand when you haven't even known me for more than a couple of months?! Were you there when dad gave me my first ever Sherlock Holmes book? Were you there when we solved our first ever case together? Were you there when I was born?! You don't understand anything Kaito and I'd appreciate it if you don't spout nonsense out of pity!" 

He was blind, blind with rage. The dam that held back a myriad of emotions came spilling out, liquid rage just filling Shinichi's veins. ' _Why did he have to die? Why did he have to be so heroic? Why didn't he just wait till the police came?'_

"Shinichi, I—" Weak voice, quivering lips, eyes consumed by horror and sadness, tears lining the rims.

"Just leave." Shinichi growled out with finality, shoulders tense and palms sweaty. Faint footsteps padded out of the venue quickly, leaving only a phantom of what was once where Kaito stood at. It didn't hit Shinichi until he had calmed down and was swallowed by a tsunami called devastation.

They weren't crocodile tears. 

♣︎

Kaito has a mental list of bad decisions made throughout his entire life and meeting Shinichi was definitely not one of them, or at least that was how he felt before the run in at Yusaku's funeral.

Sure, he had only known Shinichi for a few months at max but he'd like to think that they were on par to best friends. I mean, who visits a coffee shop everyday to chat with someone? For coffee? Maybe, maybe it was just Kaito who thought that way. He tried to ignore the stabbing pain he felt at the thought of a one-sided friendship.

Having Shinichi around was an amazing thing, he never asked _the question_ to him, he was great company and could hold deep conversations about philosophy and even politics. Kaito frankly, loved having Shinichi around and found himself glancing at the entrance of his quaint little coffee shop expecting the DI to come in for his daily order of espresso. 

Something about Shinichi just captivated him, maybe it was because he could relate to him. Both of them dealt with jobs that required being up and personal with death and the deceased. Maybe it was the way Shinichi smiled at him from the rim of his coffee cup. Maybe it was the way that Shinichi religiously visited him, never a second later. Maybe it was how, whenever Kaito smiled Shinichi's gaze would be pinned on him like he was the brightest star in the room or just generally how Shinichi's eyes never left Kaito's form for more than seconds. Either way, Kaito loved Shinichi's company and he wanted for it to stay like so for as long as possible. 

So when he heard that Shinichi's father had died, courtesy Aoko who was told by Mouri Ran. Kaito had to choose between being a good friend and just generally avoiding the topic of dads. He was half decided on asking Aoko to accompany him to the funeral but in the end he never did.

It took a couple of days moping and generally pouting until Aoko practically kicked his butt out of his own apartment with an annoyed _'Just go, Kaitroll!'_ Impromptu as it was, Kaito was thankful for the force called Aoko. He was all in for the idea of going to the funeral, comforting Shinichi and sharing his life story with him throughout the train ride but as he approached the venue Kaito's resolved dwindled until he had fully stopped in front of the doors. _'Hall 221'_ apparently. 

_'You can do this, you're the suave, defiant Kaito!'_ A phantom's voice said to him, urging him to enter the room. His hand subconsciously dug into his pocket, fishing out a certain handkerchief. He always held it, it gave Kaito a certain comfort he couldn't get anywhere else. With a hesitant push, Kaito walked into the room and towards Shinichi and that was when it all came crashing down. 

And now, here he was; Kuroba Kaito, in all his ripped jeans, baggy t-shirt glory. Standing in front of a two story building with the words 'Mouri Agency' pasted in white colored kanji. He was stupid, admittedly but now, Kaito was starting to think that he was a masochist. 

Knocking on the office door, Kaito was greeted by a brunette who looked just like Aoko. 

"Mouri Ran?"

"Kuroba Kaito?"

Violet eyes met Indigo, and they seem to reach a mutual understanding that something was wrong. Well, at least Mouri did as she ushered him into the dining room, brewing up tea and giving it to him. "Let me guess, Shinichi?" Her voice was calm and composed, as if she knew what happened blow by blow. All Kaito could do was nod, he didn't trust his voice, he knew it would crack and he would sound _pathetic._

Mouri let him enjoy a few moments of silence until she pressed forward again. "Did you... Did you visit his father?" The words were carefully selected, Kaito nodded once again. "I heard some of what happened from Aoko." _'Goddamn Aoko, I knew I shouldn't have cried to her.'_ "But if you could tell me your side of things, that would help a lot." 

And so he did, quite dramatically so. He talked about how he wanted to comfort Shinichi, how he wanted to be there for him, how he _knew_ about the pain he was going through, how hard it was to voice his thoughts to him. Ran had listened to him, attentive and keen. Taking in each and every word he said with a cool expression.

"Gods, I just _care_ for him so much. I know how he feels right now and I want to be there for him, I can't stand seeing him so broken and sad. I want to be able to comfort him but I can't, in the end I'm just an acquaintance who just so happens to work at Shinichi's favorite coffee shop and I—."

"Kuroba." Ran spoke up with a raise of her neatly penciled eyebrow. "You aren't just Shinichi's acquaintance." She offered as if giving him the answer to all his problems, she seemed pretty satisfied with herself too. 

"What?" Kaito offered dumbly, blinking twice in surprise. 

"Literally every other text Shinichi sends me relates to you or something about you. He missed fifteen outings with me in the course of a few months, he dropped a case just to catch you before your shift ends." Now, Ran was flat out chuckling behind her dainty hand, hiding a devious smirk as she fished out her phone to scroll through Shinichi's messages. 

_'I think my favorite flower is a rose.'_

_'Kaito loves to put a tiny doodle on my coffee cup, how childish is that?'_

_'Kaito wore a t-shirt that vaguely references to Sherlock Holmes today, I'm so happy.'_

_'I love smiles.'_

"Wait what? Huh?" Kaito choked out a response, not understanding half of Shinichi's texts but Ran left no room for explanation, showing him a calendar of events she had made. 

_'Sunday dinner with Aoko, Mr. Nakamori and Shinichi.'_

Wait, didn't Shinichi spend that Sunday evening yapping on about how beautifully imperfect BBC Sherlock was to Kaito?

_'Monday Dinner with Mom and Dad, Shinichi included!'_

He remembered that one distinctly, he and Shinichi had a contest on who could make the lamest puns and see who laughs first. (Kaito won and he swore he was developing arrhythmia when he heard Shinichi laugh out loud).

' _Saturday Breakfast with Sonoko and Shinichi.'_

It was one of the first times Kaito saw Shinichi outside of their usual meeting time and Kaito was half-asleep and napping (drooling) on the counter when Shinichi came in. Needless to say, Kaito found out that he might possibly be a distant relative of tomatoes. 

_'Thursday Dinner at Suzuki Corps. Opening party, Shinichi is my plus one.'_

It fell on the same day as Kaito's birthday and Shinichi had coerced (forced) him into taking the day-off and spent the entire day visiting famous date spots and at the end, Shinichi took him to a Ferris wheel in Tropical Land and had given him the cutest apron with magnifying glasses and deer stalkers, embarrassing as it was Kaito wore it instead of the company provided one now. 

"See? I still have more but I think you've seen enough." Ran chimed out, closing her phone and tucking it away. Kaito gaped like a finny thing out of water, all the dates she showed were of Shinichi spending time with him. If Kaito was thinking right about what it implied then maybe he had a chance. But then, Shinichi's voice reminded him of his less than zero chances of being with him.

"I'm sure he just forgot about it, Mouri. Shinichi tends to be forgetful sometimes." He supplied with a cool voice, although Ran looked as if she saw right through it. Which she did, and apparently looks weren't the only thing Aoko and Ran shared.

"You like him, don't you?" 

Shit. He knew this was a bad idea. 

"No! Of course not! There's no way, I mean we're both males and besides he loves you!" Kaito argued, fast and nonsensical. Jittery, he didn't notice how he had gotten up to his feet. Realizing his words, he prayed a silent prayer to the gods above that may Shinichi forgive him after all of this was over. 

Ran's reaction wasn't really ideal for someone who just found out that their childhood friend loved them and that their love wasn't so unrequited. In fact, she shook her head and said: "I knew that, and that was in the past. Back when we were still teenagers, I thought we could love each other but now, not anymore. I care for him like my own little brother, I don't think of him as a man at all." Kaito mentally kicked himself for how light her words made him feel. No, Shinichi still loved Ran, I mean nobody talks about someone that much and not be in love with them. Kaito could count 20 different times Shinichi had mentioned Ran to him and that was just the top of his head. 

"And Kuroba, I can assure you that Shinichi most definitely doesn't love me and is surely pining after someone else." Ran finalized with a nod, sipping the last bits of her tea. "Now enough about me or Shinichi, let's talk about you. How are you? I know that you've been crying so why don't you share some of your thoughts with me?" Ran's voice was soft and soothing, like a lullaby. Kaito visibly relaxed at the tone and nodded his head.

"I-I do like him, even though it's only been months since we met. I just, he's just so kind and funny and generally amazing to be with, don't get me started on his morals and looks, that's a three day course _just_ for morals. Like I said, I want to be there for him, to be a part of his life but Shinichi. . . . He said that I don't know him, that I don't understand anything but I do. . . . I do. . ." 

His voice cracked and he couldn't feel anymore pathetic. He continued, he talked about a certain incident 12 years ago and Ran's face morphed into so many emotions throughout the course of 5 minutes that it was almost laughable. 

"He's stupid, isn't he?" Ran piped up after a moment of silence, Kaito's shoulders shuddered and shivered with silent sobs. He hasn't talked about the _incident_ min years, the last one he spilled to was Aoko. Now here he was, with her lookalike talking about love problems. 

"He's our stupid detective." Ran whispered, shifting closer and collecting the funeral contractor into a soft embrace, short but offered more comfort than anything else available at the moment. Kaito found himself crying for the umpteenth time that week as he held onto the shoulders of Mouri Ran. 

♠︎ 

After Kaito had left, Shinichi felt more devastated than watching his father die twice. 

The words that left him mouth finally sunk in and it was as if someone poured an entire bucket of ice water on him. It's over, Kaito would hate him for what he said, he wouldn't want to be friends with Shinichi anymore and he'll spend the rest of his life pining after someone who would hate him. 

He felt like shit, he left his father's coffin with a heavier heart. Maybe he could still say sorry, he could grovel in front of Kaito if it came to that. Days passed, he tried to build up courage to face Kaito but found himself collapsing and shrinking back into his bed. He needed someone to talk to, who else other than his childhood friend and previous love interest, Mouri Ran.

Walking down the halls of Tokyo University, Shinichi rounded up a corner and peeked into a study hall. Spotting familiar brown hair and familiar face. 

"Ran!" 

Shinichi called out, approaching the law student with hasty steps. Upon closer inspection, Ran seemed to be having a bad hair day, strands of hair were sticking out and messy and was she wearing chest bindings? Weird. 

"Kaito?" Ran replied with furrowed eyebrows, turning to look at him. Did Ran wear grey contacts? Shinichi watched as said grey eyes widened with surprise before narrowed with intensity. "No, you're not Kaito but I do know who you are." She growled out, hands twitching as if ready to grab anything and turn said anything into a weapon against Shinichi.

"You're coming with me, Mister Kudo." Maybe Shinichi would get to see his father again soon, judging by the deadly tone Not-Ran held. 

♠︎

Not-Ran had dragged him out of Uni and out on the streets, keeping a vice grip on Shinichi's wrist. _'That's so gonna bruise.'_ He winced at the thought but he didn't dare say a word, especially when Not-Ran kept glancing at him with the hottest glares ever known to mankind. They stopped in front of a small coffee shop, Kaito's coffee shop to be specific and Not-Ran opted for the most secluded table which happened to be _his_ and _Kaito's_ table but Shinichi dragged her down onto a different seat. Even though they were fighting, Shinichi would like to preserve the sanctity of their shared space, thank you very much.

Not-Ran took a moment to calm herself down, the anger dissipating from her face but her shoulders were tense.

"I'm Nakamori Aoko." She offered through gritted teeth and Oh. This was Kaito's childhood friend who he had revealed to have liked for quite some time. The beauty was there, Nakamori had a fair and pale complexion, smooth features, cute little lips, a good head on her shoulders and basically headstrong. Shinichi could almost see Kaito going on a date with her, that was an image his pitiful unrequited self didn't need.

"And I heard from Kaito about what happened." (First name basis and no now wasn't the time for petty jealousy) 

Growled out, toned down low as if she was talking about a murder. For the hundredth time this week, Shinichi felt like dying in a ditch far from civilization but then he reminded himself that he still had to apologize to Kaito and tell him that he loved him. He hadn't noticed how Nakamori had stood up and made her way behind him until he felt his face smacking against the table (rather painfully but not as painful as the pain he felt on the back of his head). "I planned to do more but I can't clear things up to a dead body." Nakamori huffed out, dropping back down on the seat in front, entwining her hands together on top of the coffee table. 

"I know." Shinichi murmured with a wince, rubbing the sore spot on the back of his head. He deserved that. 

"I assume you thought I was Ran and that you were planning on whining to her about what transpired but Ran took the day-off, she said she was busy with some stuff." Nakamori's gaze faltered for a moment at the mention of 'some stuff' and Shinichi could deduce that it must have been something or _someone_ important. "So, in her stead I'll be the one you're talking to and I do have a few questions for you." 

"What did you say to Kaito?" 

Shinichi gulped, he remembered every word that flew out of his mouth and he wasn't so keen on saying all of them again but judging by Nakamori's gaze, she wasn't taking anything other than the truth. 

"I. . . . I said that I didn't need his pity, that he couldn't possibly understand what I'm going through, that all he does is cry false tears for money and that he doesn't know and understand me because he wasn't with me during the steps of my childhood, that he was spouting things out of pity and I asked him to leave." 

The more Shinichi talked, the softer his voice got. The more Shinichi talked, the deadlier Nakamori's expression became. By the time Shinichi finished, Nakamori was fuming. Looking ready to use the coffee table as a weapon of mass murder, with a long loud exhale Nakamori dropped her head on the table with a groan, mumbling something about ending Shinichi's life and forcing Kaito to marry Hakuba instead. 

"First of all, did you mean everything that you just said?" Nakamori asked, lifting her head to get a clear look at Shinichi's distressed face, the idea of meaning each and every word he just said was revolting.

"No, I didn't mean a single word that I said. I was out of it and I took out all my repressed emotions on Kaito, I said things before I even thought about them." Shinichi answered with a vehement shake of his head, eyes finding their way to the cash register where normally Kaito stood at. "He's taken the previous days off." Nakamori supplied, and wow what a terrible friend Shinichi was for not knowing about his friend's wellbeing after he roasted him. 

"Next question." Nakamori moved on with a wave of her hand. "What are your intentions with Kaito?"

The world stopped spinning, the birds all promptly choked, nature spontaneously combusted and Shinichi stopped breathing. 

"M-My what?" The detective hacked out.

"Your intentions." Nakamori repeated, "If you didn't mean a word you said, then what do you want to be to Kaito, what do you plan on being with Kaito." (was this a girlfriend talk down?) 

Shinichi took a moment to think about things, since day one he's been intrigued by the man and when he got to know Kaito he found that he was an amazing human being who was too perfect for words. Shinichi knew first hand how beautiful the man was, how blinding his smile was and how much he just darn wishes to kiss him and wake up beside him everyday.

"I'll take whatever Kaito is willing to give." He answered, hastily following it up just as Nakamori was about to throttle him with the table, "I don't want to force him into anything, I don't know if he even considers me as a love interest seeing as how he's been in love with you since you guys were eleven so I can't really force myself on him." 

"Kaito confessed to me in our third year of high school, I turned him down and told him I was lesbian." Nakamori answered with an incredulous look, raising a perfect eyebrow up. 

She was _lesbian_.

Kaito _confessed_ and got **_rejected_**.

The first thought that came to Shinichi's mind was ( _who in their right mind would turn down Kaito of all people_ ) that Kaito confessed years ago and yet Shinichi distinctly remembered asking Kaito if he had anyone he fancied and he had blurted out 'Aoko'.

"So with those two amazing pieces of information, what are your intentions Kudo?" Nakamori pressed on, cheeks tinged pink at her shared information. Learning that Kaito's supposed love interest did not like Kaito that way both horrified and relieved Shinichi. He couldn't imagine anyone turning down Kaito, with his spiky yet soft hair and charming indigo eyes and yet he wanted everyone to turn him down so that Shinichi would be the only one who would accept him and basically be the only one in the magician's life and he was getting too possessive, he'll stop his self there.

"My answer is mostly the same, I don't want to force myself on Kaito and I don't want to ruin the friendship that we have." _'had'_ , a familiar child's voice corrected in his head, "But if ever comes a time where I manage to confess to him and he takes me, I promise to God and _every_ other god out there that I'll do my best to make him as happy as how he makes me, I promise that I will love and protect him. I know I'm an insensitive and hopeless detective who doesn't deserve the attention of someone like Kaito but if he'll accept someone like me, I will make sure that a day doesn't go by where I don't tell him I love him." 

Shinichi's face felt hot as he finished his speech, sounding very similar to a certain British detective and hopefully he didn't embarrass himself. Nakamori had fallen silent, bangs covered her eyes and Shinichi feared for the worst. 

That was until he heard a sniffle and Nakamori looked up with misty eyes, holding up a thumbs up and whispering a shaky 'A-Approved'. 

Did he just earn her blessings?

"I thought you were a horrible person but I guess I was mistaken, Kaito's in safe hands." Nakamori said with a kind smile, her shoulders relaxing for the first time since she dragged Shinichi from Uni and maybe, things were turning up for once.

"But if you hurt him again, I will shove a mop up your ass so hard you'll be called Stuck Up for the rest of your life." 

Nakamori Aoko was a scarier woman than Mouri Ran would ever be when it came to Kaito.

♠︎

The talk with Mouri— Ran, or so she forced Kaito to call her helped him quite a lot. He felt lighter than he had a few days before, he was in fact steadily building up courage to go up to Shinichi and apologize for his careless words. He kept Ran's number on speed dial if ever he had doubts, the sweetheart was comforting and soothing. She helped the ex-magician calm himself and compose a Sorry Letter to Shinichi, said Sorry Letter was now 15 paragraphs long and still going. Kaito wasn't sure when he would give it to Shinichi but he didn't have to worry that much since the gods hated him after all.

It was a peaceful Sunday evening, Kaito was enjoying a replay of Detective Samonji (Shinichi got him hooked) and a warm cup of extra sweet hot chocolate when the doorbell rang. 

_'I thought Aoko was out on a date with the Suzuki heiress, must have went badly if she's here this early.'_ Kaito absentmindedly thought, standing up and padding over to the doorway. 

"Aoko, you better have brought beer cause I'm not listening to your love woes sober." 

He swung the door open expecting a pouting Aoko holding the biggest beer in town and a box of chocolate but instead, he was greeted by the (heavenly) surprising sight of Kudo Shinichi, in full sexy regalia, holding a bouquet of carnations and a heart shaped box of expensive chocolate. Which was enough defense as to why Kaito had dropped his mug in surprise. (At the corner of his mind, he thanked Hakuba for pestering him about getting his floors carpeted)

Kaito opted to shut the door on the detective's face and lock all of his five door locks but the detective beat him to it and forcefully entered Kaito's little apartment, ignoring the pooling hot choco at their feet. Shinichi had pulled him into a tight embrace, flowers and chocolate carefully balanced on one hand to pull Kaito as close as possible. 

The sudden contact caused the magician's cheeks to flare up, albeit confused and surprised at Shinichi's presence. He couldn't deny himself of the comfort of being encased in Shinichi's arms, he almost forgot about their situation. He found himself drowning in Shinichi's warm and scent. ' _Lavender and vanilla,_ ' His mind whispered as Kaito buried his face onto Shinichi's neck as the detective wound his arms tighter around him, as if he would disappear if he let go.

They stayed like that for what seemed to be eternity until Shinichi let go with a sharp exhale. Peering down at the magician in front of him, the detective's mouth opened and closed as if wanting to speak but couldn't find the words. Kaito herded him to the couch where they sat and calmed themselves down, they fell into silence before they finally decided to talk.

"I'm sorry!"

The two blinked and stared, deciphering who talked first when they actually talked simultaneously. Kaito went first, the dam of words breaking and flooding out.

"I'm so sorry for the words that I said, I wasn't thinking about how you must have thought that I pitied you and looked down on your father's death. I'm sorry for not being a good friend and just comforting you, I'm sorry for the empty condolences I gave because I was too much of a coward to open up and tell you how I felt and I know I can't be Ran, I know I won't know you like how she does, I know that I wasn't there for you throughout your childhood and how our memories don't even begin to compare against all you've gone through but I love you and if you can forgive me, I'll spend the rest of my life, making more memories and just being with you." 

Kaito didn't notice the streaks of tears streaming down his face as he wrung his hands together and shied away from the warmth beside him. He said it, he said the three words he wasn't supposed to say. This was it, Shinichi would reject him, stand up and walk out of his life sneering at him for being gay and overall disgusting. But instead, he felt a warm hand tucking itself under his chin and forcing him to look up.

Kaito was greeted by the sight of burning azure, deep and endless. Come to think of it, said azure eyes seemed really close to him. He hadn't realize that Shinichi's other hand had snuck up behind him, holding onto the back of his head to push him forward into a searing kiss.

It was strange, Kaito faintly mused to himself. Shinichi drank so much black coffee and yet here he was, tasting like the sweetest thing on earth. 

The kiss was long, passionate and almost border lining desperate as Shinichi pulled him close by the waist until Kaito ended up on his lap, his tongue prodding at the magician's lips. To which Kaito hazily responded to starting an elaborate dance between them. They pulled apart when the world decided to remind them that oxygen was needed to live. 

"Kuroba Kaito, I love you and only you. You are the most important being in my life and nothing will change that. I don't give a damn if you weren't there when I was born, all I care about is now and I want to spend that and the next eternity with you. I don't want you to be someone else, I just want you, and just you." 

Shinichi held a crooked smile, eyes unfocused from the previous activities. His gaze locked onto Kaito with a familiar feel, making Kaito feel like he was the brightest star in the world.

For the first time in ages, Kaito felt like he finally belonged.

♠︎&♣︎

The following days were heavenly for the new couple, Shinichi had all but moved to Kaito's apartment in name. He wore mostly Kaito's clothes and the magician was more than pleased to wake up to a disheveled and sleepy Shinichi wearing his favorite shirt and sweat pants. 

The change, of course was immediately noticed by their childhood friends who came banging at their doorway at 7 AM in the morning demanding explanations (mostly Aoko) and congratulating them (most Ran). They had stayed over for the next hour gossiping about the two males most embarrassing moments in life and the gossiped couple could only hang their heads with embarrassment and send each other bashful smiles. Once the duo finally left, taking the noise and rambunctiousness with them, the two males turned to each other with raised eyebrows.

"You consulted Ran about me?"

"Aoko threatened to murder you for me?"

The two shared surprised looks before falling into unrestrained laughter, chuckles for Shinichi and loud cackles from Kaito.

"I sorta expected mopfu from Aoko but damn, murder? I'm a little flattered," Kaito said through wheezes, clutching his sides. 

"She's lesbian, by the way," Shinichi blurted out, coming out a tad bit jealous and pushy, even Shinichi heard it. Kaito burst out into laughter once more, herding the detective into a bone crushing hug.

"Shinichi, darling, love," Kaito started with soft chuckles, pressing butterfly kisses all over Shinichi's gradually reddening face. 

"The only straight thing about her is her chest, and I've known that since high school," Cue the cackling as Kaito tried to muffle it against the crook of Shinichi's neck while said detective flushed brighter than a tomato. God, why did he fall in love with such a jokester. 

"Just making sure you don't have any lingering feelings." Shinichi murmured with a ghost of a pout lingering on his lips. 

"I could ask you the same thing, Ran said she thinks of you as a little brother but how do you feel about her?" The cackling stopped as Kaito leaned back, meeting Shinichi's gaze with earnest seriousness. 

"I stopped loving her the day I met you." Shinichi answered with the dorkiest smile Kaito had ever seen and he felt all his anxiety falling off of his shoulders and he allowed Shinichi to press a sweet kiss against his lips.

The sweet moment was ruined by the buzzing of Shinichi's phone followed by the opening theme of BBC Sherlock and all Kaito could do was smirk as Shinichi fumbled to get his phone, after a moment of silence Kaito took a peak at the detective's screen and saw the Caller ID.

 _'Mom',_ it said and Kaito took a tentative glance at Shinichi's profile to survey his reaction, seeing the conflicted expression on his pale face Kaito pressed a hand against Shinichi's shoulder as if to silently support him. Another buzz and another round of BBC Sherlock and then Shinichi picked it up with a soft "Hello?"

 _"Shin? It's mama~! I'm currently on my way back to Japan, I'm boarding the midnight flight from Paris to Tokyo today and I thought I should call in advance."_ (to say sorry was left unsaid)

"Yeah, I'll tidy up your room for you." Shinichi answered with a leveled voice, hand finding its way around Kaito's.

_"Thanks~," the voice on the other line chirped out before it went silent, "Shin, I wanted to say sorry for suddenly leaving," her voice was hoarse, from crying, quiet almost nonexistent, Shinichi had to strain his hearing to hear her words, "His death was so sudden. I-I couldn't accept it and I found myself coming back to where it all ended and after sometime, I realized," a hint of a smile, the small genuine upbeat tone, "That he wouldn't want me to run away from you and that I'd mop around chasing after his phantom. You know, part of the reason why I left was because you reminded me too much of Yusaku, the hair, the eyes, even the personality! But I realized that it was unfair for you so here I am. I apologize."_

"Dumbass," Shinichi said through a huge smile, "You don't have to apologize, I know it's been rough so take your time, I'll be right here."

_"SHIIIIN, I LOVE YOUUU!" Yukiko wailed out in a teary voice, sniffle and blowing her nose noisily. "Just you wait, I'm coming home and don't think I don't know about your boyfriend, Ran told me all about it!"_

The line went dead and Shinichi wasn't so sure how he should react, "Well, time to meet the parents," Kaito joked out with his usual breathtaking smile and Shinichi had to pinch his self to check if he wasn't just dreaming up the perfect boyfriend.

♠︎&♣︎

Meeting Kudo Yukiko was one of the weirdest things to ever happen in Kaito's life, the moment the couple stepped through the doors of the Kudo Manor, they were tackled by a short female who spoke too quickly for comprehension. Yukiko had cried to Shinichi, apologizing and wailing before turning her undivided attention to Kaito. Never in his life had Kaito felt so scared of anything, the last time was during _the incident._

Yukiko had asked Kaito a series of questions ranging from Shinichi's habits to important days to quirks and hobbies and finally the "Why do you love him?" Question to which Kaito answered with flourish.

"I love him for the mornings where I'd wake up with his arms around me, keeping me warm and protected, I love him for the secret glances he gives me whenever I stay to wait for him to finish his work, I love him for how he makes me feel like the brightest star on earth, I love him for how he waits an additional 30 minutes before he tries to wake me up, I love him for his morals and his personality, I love him for the patience he gives me and gods, I just love him for being him." 

Needless to say, Yukiko had given him a packet of strawberry chocolate condoms and a speech about how Kaito was now officially a Kudo and that he may take Shinichi to bed and about how she didn't care who topped as long as she got first hand retelling the day after. 

Both Kaito and Shinichi swore they were tomatoes in their previous lives as Yukiko continued on about tips and advices about male on male intercourse. 

♠︎&♣︎

Life continued on after that but something troubled Kaito and he thought that maybe, it was time to tell Shinichi about _the_ incident.

It happened one night, while Kaito was sprawled all over Shinichi and Shinichi had his left hand entwined through Kaito's locks while the other played with the magician's jean's belt loops. It was comfy and warm until Kaito begrudgingly peeled himself off of Shinichi, much to both of their displeasure.

"Wait a moment, love." Kaito whispered, disappearing into his room leaving Shinichi alone 

Once Kaito was gone, Shinichi's gaze flitted across the room, surveying how much Shinichi had imprinted himself into Kaito's life. The coffee table was a mess of Manila folders (cold case files) and coffee recipes (Kaito's been trying to get Shinichi to drink non-black coffee), the kitchen sink had two pairs of every utensil and silverware instead of just one, and the mere thought of Shinichi leaving a mark on Kaito's life made butterflies fly around his stomach.

He was broken from his thoughts when Kaito came out of his room, clutching close a bundle of old newspaper (dusty, barely touched, old and worn from climate).

"I thought that I should share this with you." The magician mumbled, setting the bundle down on the coffee table and took a seat beside Shinichi. The detective took a small glance at Kaito's direction, as if asking for his permission to look through the papers to which Kaito nodded to.

Gingerly, Shinichi unraveled the knot that tied the papers together and picked them up. What he read and saw elicited a small gasp from him. 

_ 'Magician of the Year, Kuroba Toichi dead from Magic Show Accident!' _

_ 'Kuroba Toichi, lack of preparation leads to untimely death.' _

_ 'The Magic has died and along with it, the famous magician.' _

_'Kuroba Toichi's untimely death was caused by a machine malfunction during his biggest stunt in his entire career. Kuroba was performing his popular End of Year show to his family when his prop malfunctioned leading to his death in the flames.'_

_"This is what you get when you try to execute the impossible", said Critic Richard Moore and a "Magic is meant to be executed perfectly, this incident goes to show that the magician hadn't taken precautions and was too into his flight of fiction" Another critic, Zoe Patron sniped."_

"Magic killed my father, 12 years ago in a fire," Kaito spoke up, hands holding a familiar handkerchief with the initials _K. T._ and it all made sense. The magician watched as his detective put two and two together, expression morphing from shock to horror. 

"Kaito, I'm so so sorry." Shinichi choked out, remembering what he had said to him at Yusaku's funeral. It all made sense, the detective regretted his words more than ever. Shinichi found himself clinging onto Kaito, as tight as possible pressing kisses at every available patch of skin before pressing a deep kiss against Kaito's lips. The kiss was desperate, an apology from Shinichi to Kaito but soon transformed into a softer, slightly salty kiss as Kaito threaded his fingers through Shinichi's hair, gently rubbing and massaging him, coaxing him to calm down.

"I forgave you, remember? It was my fault for being a coward and not talking about it. He... He didn't die from Machine Malfunction, he was killed, some magician who envied his talent. Only me and mum knew about it and she, she couldn't handle it, couldn't handle me and left me in Mr. Nakamori's care. She comes by every now and then but never really stuck for long. After a while, she stopped coming by and I just forgot about her. My family became the Nakamori's, and begrudgingly enough my friends like Hakuba, Akako and Keiko and you, I was really dumb for not realizing that earlier. Now I'm fine, maybe not fully but I'm getting there." 

Kaito gave Shinichi the best smile he could muster as the detective dropped his head onto his shoulder and mumbled, "Take your time, I'll be right here by your side forever." 

Later on while preparing dinner for him and Shinichi, Kaito realized that the kiss he shared with Shinichi tasted a tad bit salty. He initially thought that it was his own tears but seeing the slight red rimming the outlines of Shinichi's eyes and the slight puff to them, Kaito had stopped moving causing his detective to look up with curiosity.

"Nothing," Kaito chirped out with the biggest smile he had ever smiled since birth, "Nothing at all."

Kaito **_did_** have someone to cry for him.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading through this author's fanfic! Author-chan has another fanfic on its way and will post it when she finally has the courage to do so. 
> 
> In the end, Author-chan couldn't forget Conan and KID so she added tiny cameos of them, were you able to find them? 
> 
> Reviews and constructive criticism are much appreciated! I'm a newbie writer so I'll take whatever improvement I can get~.


End file.
